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May 19, 2006
:: It Aint Over Yet
The unions representing pilots, flight attendants, and mechanics that work for Mesaba Airlines won, in landmark fashion, their argument that Mesaba does not have the right to reject their collective bargaining agreements in bankruptcy reorganization. Cheif Judge Gregory Kishel ruled in favor of the unions when he rejected the airlines application to reject the labor pacts.
Mesaba has, of course, put their spin on their loss, saying that "Judge Kishel denied Mesaba's motion only due to its failure to provide a working financial model to the unions and its modeling of workforce attrition. These limited issues either already have been addressed or will be shortly."
Here is more detail from Mesaba's Information Minister:
"Let me tell you this: the decision on Mesaba's 1113c motion is a great victory for our supremely worthy cause! The righteous adjudicator Kishel has wisely seen through the vicious lies of the evil union gangsters and vindicated every word and deed of Mesaba's exhalted leadership. He states clearly that our workers should get down on their knees and kiss every executive foot in the company for the chance to serve Mesaba for the ridiculously high sum of current book minus 19.4 percent.
In particular, the sacred text of the proceedings exposes the laughbable weakness of the case presented by the vile pilots' union. For example, they could not produce so much as a single witness to prove that the pay cuts would force first officers to eat from motel dumpsters on overnights! Let them fill their bellies with dirt, I say, for that is what those snakes deserve!
The Word of Kishel makes it clear that every one of the miserable, undeserving dogs who are priveleged to serve Mesaba must share the blame for all the ills that have befallen the company. Their laziness and greed are like a plague that must be swept away by Mesaba management's most blessed broom, and that broom will be pushed with fists clad in iron gloves, I assure you!
In the conclusion of his wise words, the Emporer Kishel declares that he eagerly awaits the chance to further humiliate the unions by undoing the blasphemous contract that allows them all to live like fattened parasites on the thinning haunches of Mesaba.
Soon our superior legal team will repair minor typographical errors in Mesaba's economic model (and I tell you, those errors were probably introduced by cowardly union saboteurs, may their children be consumed by ravenous wolves). When the newly-perfected model is approved, and the despicable contract dissolved, Mesaba's worthless workers will see unimaginable vengeance visited upon them!
No longer will they extort a criminally high wage from their benevolent employers! Instead, they will bend their backs for whatever wage the company deems worthy! And if they refuse? Then the mighty hand of justice will still prevail, as each one of them is dragged from their homes by police, slapped into leg irons, and beaten savagely until they submit to the insurmountable will of Mesaba! This I promise you! They cannot hide! They cannot escape! Their defeat is certain! They must surrender NOW!!!
Mesaba's Labor Coalition intends to bargian in good faith to reach consensual agreements with Mesaba management.
Special credit due to a pilot friend of Pierre's for providing the Information Minister's comments - excellent find, JM!"
Posted by pierre at May 19, 2006 11:24 AM
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